


Big Gay Wars

by orphan_account



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Big Larries, I mean Big Lewries!!!, Justice, Oops
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-05
Updated: 2016-01-05
Packaged: 2018-05-11 23:46:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5646175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based off no one in particular :))) :) :))) !</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Big Gay Wars: Episode 1 The Transgender Menace

**Author's Note:**

> I just want to thank every1 for the support!!!!  
> I've translated it into a language even the most IGNORANT people can understand because I know there's some people who'll need extra help to read through all that ignorance, ugliness, & hate : ))) :)

Fauna Taters was standing on The Yacht, overlooking the waters of St. Barths. She was quite pleased with herself, she'd just disproved Transgender, which she was 95% sure was some kind of robot, at least that's what her friend Clam N. Ism had told her. She didn't care how many movies Michael Bay made about them, they were no more than collateral damage in The Big Gay War, like pansexuals (kinks were becoming stranger and stranger. Straights, right?), and asexuals (which had to be some kind of new closeting technique to keep her two GAY (just gay, nothing else HOW DARE YOU) babies GAY Henry and GAY Lewis in their hetero restraints). She couldn't afford to relax, however, for there was still one big issue before her and that hideous, fame-hungry issues' name was Banana Juggalo. You see, she had been affixed with a plastic stomach by Modest! (that's what the obgyn lewrie anon had told her anyway and only homophobes would need any more proof than that!) and she was trying to ruin GAY Lewis and GAY Henry's beautiful, 100% real 100% GAY relationship. Everyone was! From Eleanor (that was the thick girl chipmunk, right?), to Tailor Fast (she was also gay! JUST GAY! NOTHING ELSE!), to Daniel CampbellsChickenandNoodlesoup, to Candle Gender (ANOTHER GAY, just GAY, which suddenly mattered because Lewry's involved but if it wasn't then, hey, who cares if she's GAY , am I right?LOLZ) but it wouldn't matter soon! IT was all SEEDING and Grandpa Airsoft was going to save the day and free GAY Lewis and GAY Henry from their hetero-restraints and she knew all of this because of her insiders™ , who were 100% GAY and 100% legit.


	2. Big Gay Wars Episode 2 Attack of the BTQA+'s!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wow i love justice :)

Straitmendonut2 sat in their chair in their lavish office, rubbing their GAY cat Sasha. Label-poloosa walked in, dressed sharply, “We have a problem.” They said, “It's the Transgenders.”  
“The robots?”  
Label-poloosa nodded, “The robots.”  
“I'll get Fauna Taters on the phone! They'll know what to do. They're experts at erasing these robots! After all, who cares about them? They don't face REAL discrimination like we do because they're robots not GAY humans, am I right?”  
Label-poloosa chuckled, rubbing their hands together, “Of course! Who cares about Transgenders!”  
Straitmendonut2's phone rang then, they picked it up. “If this is not a fellow GAY I'm inclined to hang up.”  
“No, no, no, it's me Vandalsandblueberries!”  
“Ahh, hey GAY pal!”  
“Hello, fellow GAY, just GAY, nothing else!”  
“Imagine if I was PANSEXUAL or something, right?”  
“LOLZ”  
“LOLZ”  
“So to what do I owe the pleasure, Vandals?”  
“There's a bit of trouble, I'm afraid. It appears someone posted something mean about us.”  
Straitmendonut2 gasped. “NO!” they're voice became strained, tears formed in their eyes, “YOU KNOW I'M JUST REALLY TIRED OF ALL THE BULLYING AND HOMOPHOBIA IN THIS FANDOM LIKE ALL I DO IS TALK OVER TRANSGENDERS AND MAKE PEOPLE FEEL TERRIBLE ABOUT THEMSELVES AND I'M JUST GENERALLY GROSS AND UGLY TO PEOPLE, LIKE, WHAT DID WE DO TO DESERVE THIS? IT'S BECAUSE WE'RE GAY, JUST GAY AND NOTHING ELSE, ISN'T IT?”  
“Obviously! But hey, why don't I go make a mediocre manip of our fave GAYS GAY Lewis and GAY Henry and then maybe we can harass their families and friends with them, yeah? I think later I'll go do some more #investigating because my GAY insiders gave me some more 100% GAY 100% legit info!”  
“BYE GAY PAL!”  
“BYE GAY PAL!”  
These were troubling times for the GAY Big Lewries indeed, but Straitmendonut2 knew that with just the right amount of ignorance, ugliness, and lack of overall human decency, that they would win this Big Gay War, they would come out victorious.


End file.
